A fundamental resolution for emotional difficulties – Being true to yourself
“I am not good enough.”
A sense of unworthiness is the universal feeling that underpins today’s emotional difficulties including depression, trauma, addiction, eating disorder, aggression, and more.
We have long believed that we would become happy and things would improve if we fix “bad” parts of ourselves or remove our “problems.” We have learned to push away those unwanted things in our life.
Broadly speaking, many of the existing psychotherapies and counselling are “disease” or “problem” orientation. People seek psychological support when they feel there is something wrong with them.
“Disease” or “problem” orientation is similar to the medical approach: “We can be cured by eliminating the cause of illness.”
I have seen, however, that there are so many individuals who have tried their hardest to improve their lives, and yet remain suffering. How so?
Through working with people from over 40 different countries, I have come to a revelation: there is a fundamental cause that underpins all the emotional and interpersonal difficulties.
Our suffering arises from the emotional pain of not being able to be ourselves.
We often think that relationships or circumstances make us suffer, but they are actually not a fundamental cause of suffering.
External problems trigger our habitual patterns of thinking, feeling and behaviour that cause us to suffer.
Recurring emotional pain is not the sign that there is something wrong with us. It is the message from our soul that we are suppressing our true self.
Emotional pain comes up to heal, not to suffer.
We need to “undo” what we have learned – suppressing our emotional truths in order to conform to others’ need and cultural standards.
The suppression of ourselves is a violence to ourselves.
A fundamental resolution for emotional issues therefore lies in recognising and accepting whatever emotions spontaneously arise from within.
Full acceptance of ourselves means that we do not control or get rid of the parts that we despise. Our innermost self-experience deserves our loving attention and highest respect.
We need to trust our life and let it unfold in its unhurried pace, rather than trying to manipulate our life.
All we need to do is to honour our emotional truths and find a way to speak them.
When we hold our vulnerability with compassion, it will no longer be the cause of suffering.
Whatever emotions arise from within, that opens the gateway towards your innate power.
Our vulnerability will turn into the courage to be ourselves.
We will naturally begin to be able to speak our truths in relation to others without compromising ourselves.
Self-acceptance is a fundamental change that we can offer to ourselves. Everything will begin to transform by accepting of all of ourselves. Outer changes are a result of inner changes.
Our inner change brings about positive changes beyond ourselves. Our increased capacity to be with our vulnerability will become our empathic capacity to “viscerally” feel the pain of others.
The more compassion we bring into our life, the more compassion we can share with others.
Our inner change, galvanised by our self-compassion, can extend the circle of compassion around us.
As many of us practice compassion – being true to ourselves, it will begin to shape a new culture of compassion in our society.
Our individual growth and healing leads to collectively transforming our world.
Would that be exciting?
Each one of us matters.
My role as a therapist is not to give you advice but go through your journey together as an active partner.
I believe that teaching you how to catch fish is much more valuable than catching fish for you.
Everyone has inner capacity to heal themselves and outgrow challenges.
I am committed to it.
You can start with wherever you feel comfortable.
What is most important is that you make time dedicated to fill yourself with compassion.
It is my sincere hope that you can experience this joyful and liberating journey of becoming yourself.
A turning point in your life is the moment you decide.
I look forward to working with those who are ready to “wholeheartedly” grapple with your life.