It is common to feel scared when things start improving.
When a good thing happens to you, you can’t receive it.
“A good thing will never last.”
“What if I lose it later? What if I fail? That will be too painful.”
And when things didn’t go well, you would feel somewhat relieved.
Self-sabotage is common.
Reason for self-sabotage
One of the reasons people self sabotage is that they didn’t have much experience of being loved as they were in their childhood.
As a result, it is really difficult to accept a feeling of being loved and happy in their later life.
You feel like running away from happiness when happiness is coming to you even though you’ve been wanting it so badly.
It’s frightening to experience something unknown to you.
Anyone feels this way.
It’s scary to go beyond the familiar beliefs that “I am unlovable, unworthy,” “There is something wrong with me,” “My life is hard.”
Trusting positive potential and going for it makes you jittery.
Part of you knows that holding on to self-defeating beliefs never helps you. But it feels somewhat more bearable to stay in familiar beliefs that keep you stuck.
If you continue believing you won’t be loved, you would be able to protect yourself from possible hurt if things didn’t work out for you.
You would be able to keep fear of unknown at bay if you let yourself continue believing that you don’t deserve to be happy.
Permission to become happy
If you think you are self-sabotaging, please practice to give yourself a permission to become happy.
“I deserve to be happy.”
“I am worthy of love.” (success, better job, etc)
It’s OK to give yourself a permission to become happy! You are born to become happy, not to suffer.
It takes the courage to believe your worthiness.
Courage can substitute for compassion.
We need to orient our heart in the direction of our deepest desire.
Compassion has two faces: “kind” compassion and “active” compassion.
Active self-compassion is the courage to trust ourselves.
Courage is willingness to confront fear.
Courage is a choice based on trust, not fear.
Instead of saying things to ourselves such as “I can’t do it,” “that’s too hard,” “I’m unworthy,”
we choose to tell ourselves “Yes I can do it,” “I’m not discouraged yet,” “I am worthy as I am,” “I trust a process of my life.”
This is courage.
Courage sets you free.
Thank you for reading!
Please feel free to contact me