Rilke “Don’t search for the answers. Live your way into the answer”

What is difficult for me to develop the content of the seminar is that I sometimes just don’t know what is the best way to convey my message.

In the last seminar, I received a question that acceptance of oneself is good, but it appears to fall short. I wondered if this question came from the person’s need to “do something” for his feelings.

I said that full acceptance is a fundamental change that can transform everything, but the person who asked the question looked unsatisfied.

Uh oh… I didn’t do a good job.

Since then I’ve been thinking how I can best explain the value of “not doing” and of the experience of “just being” in a way that is relatable to people.

Some people expressed their high anxiety. 

People who feel too much need a lot of space to nurture a sense of safety and reassurance first and foremost.

In the last seminar, I talked about the importance of being with the aspects of us that we have previously pushed away, criticised or denied. 

If people with high anxiety hear the above message without knowing that they first need to have a sense of safety and care, the message can be misleading.

They may even judge themselves for not being able to tolerate their feelings. 

These are my endless struggle to find the best ways to convey my message…

What’s best for each individual is dependent on where they are in the particular time, stage of growth and individual capacity.

I don’t know where I’m going with this struggle, and that’s OK.

My favorite poet, Rilke, has popped into my mind. This must be an encouragement from him:

“Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and

to try to love the questions themselves…

Don’t search for the answers,

which could not be given to you now,

because you would not be able to live them.

And the point is to live everything.

Live the questions now. 

Perhaps then,

someday far in the future,

you will gradually,

without even noticing it,

live your way into the answer.”

Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet