I went to see an astrologist today. I am fascinated with the wisdom of astrology.
Wow that was interesting!
The astrologist says that a big theme my life has been revealing is the presence’s of opposing forces and the integration of them.
How do you know? I thought.
That has been exactly the theme I have been grappling with:
- Japanese culture and Western culture
- Japanese and English
- Being reserved and expressive
- Group harmony and individual need
- Cultural values and my true feelings
- Buddhism and psychotherapy
- Change and acceptance
- Joy and pain
- Compassion and self-judgement
- Future-oriented and strong pull to the past
It’s so true that I have struggled deeply to hold these opposing things inside me.
For me, it’s been a painful, but enlightening journey to experience the process that greater wholeness is gestating inside me.
Process of how opposing forces meet, synthesize and generate much greater life through the conflict.
Another thing that struck me about what the astrologist said is that I was born with qualities to influence people.
This means to have my own platform to speak. It is like holding a banner high and telling people “Let’s go this way!” kind of thing.
She said that my voice is unique and it is important for me to share myself with others.
There is part of me which wants to express myself fully and freely. She said “You can’t do this in your work as a psychotherapist.”
Because the nature of psychotherapist’s job is to be receptive and attuned with the other person through listening.
Again opposing forces here, listening and speaking.
Awww. Part of me thought that I actually knew my heart wanted to express myself.
I have a message I would like to share. What do I do with this desire?
Me writing a blog is, for example, is partly because I want to be true to my desire, whatever it is. It is also because I believe that what I am learning can be beneficial to people who have similar emotional struggles.
And the interesting thing is that my message is profoundly related to my personal experience of “integrating the opposing forces.”
The astrologist gave me advice: I need to listen to my inner voice when I feel “Awwww that’s scary, but I want to do it.”
Be curious of this voice. It will take me where my life wants to go.
I know this voice very well. Great, I will continue following this voice!