When we struggle to fulfill our potential, we may have emotional blocks that hinder us from fulfilling it.
It’s often stemming from a deep-seated belief that “I can not do it.”
In order to set ourselves free from emotional blocks, some people use positive affirmation that “I can do it”
Although intention is coming from a right place, it sometimes doesn’t work.
Why?
It’s often the case that people “forcefully” give themselves a positive affirmation.
Those who have a tendency to “do it right” often take in a positive affirmation as “order.”
They say to themselves “I must be able to do it!”
You are already struggling to do something, and giving yourself a pressure to do so, how would that be like for you?
This is a threatening statement rather than positive affirmation, isn’t it?
When you pressure yourself, you are tensing against it, beating yourself up for not being able to do it.
As a result, you feel more anxious and get stuck in a negative cycle.
If this sounds like you, here is a suggestion:
Giving yourself “permission” rather than “affirmation.”
A phrase you can use is “it’s OK to do it” rather than “I can do it.”
A phrase of permission lightens your heart.
When I was doing psychotherapy training, I would struggle with my inner conflict. A part of me really wanted to be myself, but the other part of me was scared to be seen as I was.
I would give myself the following permission.
- It’s ok to live true to myself
- It’s ok to realise my dream (succeed my private practice)
I wrote them down and read it out loud everyday.
These goals have been realised now.
Your life unfolds in exact accordance with how/how much you value yourself and what you allow yourself.
You can realise anything if you give yourself a permission.
The following is main permission phrases for your reference.
- It’s ok to do a job I really love
- It’s ok to do things at my unhurried pace
- It’s ok to separate my feelings from others
- It’s ok to end harmful relationships that don’t serve me anymore
- It’s ok to value myself
- It’s ok to love myself as I am
- It’s ok to feel loved
- It’s ok to say no
Write down your permission phrase and say it out loud everyday.
It’s less effective if you’re just looking at a piece of paper.
By saying it out loud, it directly resonates with your heart.
You may feel mechanical or uncomfortable at the beginning.
Don’t worry about it. Its normal to feel that way at first. We’re so unpractised at allowing ourselves to wish for what we deeply want.
Please keep practicing no matter how you feel.
Over the time you will begin to gradually feel comfortable about it.
Permission approach allows you to move beyond emotional blocks and fulfill your potential.
Give it a try!
